It is easy for me to get caught up in the feeling that I always need to be doing something productive. Don’t interpret that as implying that I am always productive…I’m not. But when I feel like I should be getting things done, I tend not to plan anything into my life that would just be fun or relaxing, and instead I do nothing at all when I have free time (and feel guilty about it). I cemented this thought pattern a couple years ago when I decided to pay off my $30K in student loans, and worked at the equivalent of two full-time jobs for seven months. It was hard. That portion of my life is a blur. I’m also glad I did it.
Now it’s time to fully transition—I need to work more at not working, and having that be ok.
In the past year, I’ve met some people who have degrees in Art Therapy and related topics, and this intrigues me. I’m not artistic, but at certain times in my life, I have really wanted to make things. When I’d finish a school year (during HS and college), I’d find myself in the craft store wanting to Make Something, but not knowing what to make. Sometimes the things I made turned out good, and sometimes they were junk. The common thread, though, was that when school started again—I stopped making things and went back to school mode. I also stopped reading books for pleasure.
At my current point in life, I am really lucky because I work primarily for myself and at home. I also followed my Mom’s early advice of following my bliss and turning that into a career (talking about food and exercise all day? Sign me up!). The problem I have is that I don’t have times when I feel like I don’t need to be productive. Since I teach for several different schools, I never have a break from them all at once (except Christmas time), I can work while on vacation, and I have this underlying feeling like I should be doing something more.
Please don’t misunderstand—I’m not complaining! I love my life, and I actually like being productive. I just want to learn and practice doing things just for the sake of doing them—without thinking about what it leads to or what I really should be doing at that moment.
My current attempts at addressing this:
1. Simplify/Minimize. I am getting rid of Stuff (not kitchen gadgets!), papers, and cleaning out closets. It feels good–I’ve let go of some clothes that I was hanging on to for no reason (maybe someday I will fit into the skinny jeans from when I couldn’t swallow after my sister died, but they won’t be in style even if that does happen!). I cleaned out my inbox (down from 4000+ to 90 emails…if I need one that I deleted….oh well!). I want space, cleanliness in my space, and no knick knacks–it helps me feel mentally more clear and less cluttered.
2. Schedule my workouts, meditation, sauna first thing in the morning (before my work). That way it can’t get pushed out of my schedule.
3. Vacations. I scheduled 5 trips this summer (3 down, 2 to go). Work gets minimized into compartments automatically when traveling.
4. Saying No. Being social can be helpful for relaxing, but saying yes to things that don’t work for me at that moment has always been an issue for me.
5. Make things. Use time and materials to create something that does not have a real tangible productive purpose.
Lucky for me, Stephanie over at Love-Life Project, is hosting a Person Who Makes Stuff link party. I’m going to use it as motivation to make something happen…otherwise it’s easy for me to put it off indefinitely. My brain protects me by pushing it aside—then I don’t have to face whether or not I wasted my time by making some useless junk.
The useless junk I make may be hung in Matthew’s new bedroom in my new apartment (or not, if it’s really bad), and it will also play a role in helping me practice not feeling like I need to be productive all the time (and feeling guilty when I’m not).
Are you a Person Who Makes Stuff?
What was the last thing you made?
Do you take life too seriously? Or can you easily take time to relax and do “unproductive” things?
I’m right there with you – why should we feel guilty for relaxing when we work so hard all the time? It’s good for the spirit to just relax for a change. This is why I started making the to-enjoy list – to remind myself to find something to enjoy each day.
i so love this post, lisa! both because i can totally relate to that feeling of “i must be productive, 24/7” and also because i appreciated hearing your thoughts/seeing where you’re at.
i am really into my knitting, but that’s about all, craft-wise. i took that cake decorating course at michaels back in february but it really was not *my thing* – but i tried!
i’ve always loved crafts, too, and spent a lot of time “creating” as a child…i think it’s very therapeutic to get lost in a creative project – and to try several until you find what works (i think i could get into paint by number again – LOL!).
love the picture frame you decoupaged! nice work! and that’s sweet that you’ll let matthew help decorate his room at your new place.
way to get rid of those emails – very impressive! and i agree that workout/meditation/sauna time is a positive step to the day.
ok, that was a book of a comment, but your thoughts really resonated with me today!
I love your list and how you’re approaching this! (and *whew* for the no kitchen gadgets – thanks for clarifying!) 🙂
I am going through a LATE “spring cleaning” right now, and while certain areas of the house may be MORE cluttered during this time, it’s only because I am REALLY getting rid of a lot. it’s feeling really good!
I love a visit to Michael’s. I usually go with an idea in mind, but sometimes find things that end up in my basket with no real plan… sometimes the most fun!
I love doing little art projects I wish I spent more time doing them, I love the frame though so adorable and personal!
OMG I just saw your tickets there and I am so so jealous… I jsut got back from Disney World a week ago and I msis it terribly 😉
I go back and forth. I do a whole lot of unproductive stuff, which could be okay, but I guess I’m TIRED of doing unproductive things or at least menial, uninteresting unproductive things (watching TV, scouring facebook for hours) so I’m actually searching for a little more excitement. But perhaps that’s just me. 🙂 I definitely take life a little too seriously sometimes though 😉
I am SO bad at relaxing…seriously. I know I will need re-prioritize once the peanut is born. Your plan sounds great. I’m definitely not very good at making stuff…unless its food related! Josh’s Mom made me try to paint some onesies for the baby…they turned out a little sad looking 😉
When I worked from home I found it very hard to stop working. When I began working outside of the home again, “boundaries” became my middle name. It really helped to draw the line of when I’m working and when I’m not. I’m sure working for oneself,though, has it’s challenges.
I’m not super creative when it comes to making stuff. Which is why I had to take an actual class to learn how to knit. It just didn’t come to me. But now I know how (just need to do more of it)
Funny (as in “what a coincidence!”) to read your post, Lisa. I just picked up a book I’d read a long time ago and enjoyed: The Slow Down Diet, by Marc David. He talks about how intimately metabolism and stress are connected. You might like it.
Making stuff for the pure pleasure of “doing it” is a noble undertaking. Unfortunately, I can’t help but keep track of the “benefits,” such as stress relief. So much for being “unproductive!”
The only time I really relax is when I sit on my boyfriend’s porch with our morning coffee. It’s quiet. Just him, me and the birds. Very relaxing!
i love cleaning out things!! it is such a refreshing feeling.
Wahhh I’m gonna miss you 🙁 p.s. I gave you an award on the blogggy! http://www.chefkatelyn.com/oopsie-daisy
I am JUST like you in this aspect. When I have free time I don’t normally take advantage of it. Although sometimes I am OK with this..I need the relaxation usually. I also have a terrible problem of not saying no enough. I feel bombarded sometimes and guilty if I do say no, so I agree to things I don’t really want to do.
What a CUTE picture frame. I love to make crafty things, I make stuff for my friends when I give gifts.
I am definitely not a person who makes stuff lol. The only thing I “make” is scrapbooks”. As far as other crafty projects go I am terrible at them. My mom and sisters are all so crafty I somehow got lost somewhere and left out of the craft gene pool. I try to always have some type of trip planned. It gives me something to look forward to while I am at work. Like right now I know the next day off is in August and just keep thinking “one more month one more month”.
I always knew when you had gotten home from college after any semester ended. I would walk into the kitchen after work and there would be “projects” in all stages of completion!
Those WERE the happiest days!!!!!
I still have ‘some’ of those projects…..:)
Liking the colors for Matthew’s “new” room!!!!
awww i love it! gloss medium is my bff =)
and I hear ya on de-stressing and simplifying! I am finally learning to say no. It still stings when I say it though but it clears up deadlines I wouldnt normally have and less deadlines means less stah-ress =)
I was better at initiating the projects than cleaning up after them…that
actually hasn’t changed much!
I used to b super uptight and take things too seriously and the past few years I totally let myself just relax. Especially this past year. Pregnancy REALLY changed me because I was doing it for baby. I became this totally zen person…allowing myself to just chill out. I used to never be able to sit still and felt guilty. I say no…often…because things usually conflict with time I want to myself for the gym, or what not. It’s a healthy way to be!!!
I totally love making things! I used to love sewing and made several blankets as gifts for family but I haven’t had a chance to sew for a couple years. Something I want to get back into!
DISNEY!!! have fun, one of our favorite places to go
enjoy doing nothing, haha
I have a hard time “not working” even when I was on vacation, there were moments when I would feel not right because I was doing nothing. But at the same time it was great!
I feel like I’m all over the place right now. I’m trying to give the kids a great summer and just go with the flow. My husband is way over worked and I have things that I need to do right now for my career, but I feel like it’s not the right time right now. I need to get past this phase and get to the next for me. I love this post!
Person who makes stuff… does baking count?
I am in total agreement on the clutter stuff – I feel like I need to go through and minimize my possessions again, even though I’ve moved 3 times in the past year and downsized every single time. I hate stuff! But I’m the first to admit that I have a tendency to go overboard and then need something I already threw away…
I’ve definitely been trying to get in the swing of relaxing on my days off. Not thinking about work or anything else. I end up less stressed out if I do it that way, but sometimes it just gets so bustling crazy around these parts =)
Love this post. I am so a person who does to much! I love your idea of doing something like a craft and making stuff to get into the routine of settling down. I used to teach life skill and we used to do so many crafts and little project. Yeah for you!!
I taught a class yesterday, for kids, and had them draw a picture of “their plate” (half fruits and veggies, half protein and grains” and I MADE one 🙂 I have no artistic ability inside me, but it was still fun!
I know what you mean about always wanting to be productive. I work so much (and I love it, really) so when it comes time to relax, sometimes it’s difficult. Like you, I have a vacation coming up soon, but I’m not going anywhere, it’s a STAY-cation! I have a list of things I want to accomplish, but I’m making room for fun things as well. I’m excited!
Great tips! I can definitely get caught up with all the little stuff and fail to just slow down and relax!
Oh my gosh- I slowly start to decay if I don’t construct/ craft enough with my hands. It is like a physical need for me to do hands on things a few times a week at least. It has been good for me to have a more or less 9-5 job, because when I get home its off and I leave it there. I do, however, enjoy my job pretty well but sometimes wish I could think of a job I want where I get to “make things” all day long. I agree with you about having a hard time saying no to people- I have to keep reassuring myself that its ok afterwards too
I know exactly what you mean…my mom is the same way too, if she sits down for 15 minutes to relax after working all day she feels guilty. I’m glad you have an upcoming vacation planned — hope you have and amazing time!
“4. Saying No. Being social can be helpful for relaxing, but saying yes
to things that don’t work for me at that moment has always been an issue
for me”
Oh that is soooo me! I never want to upset, disappoint, or make others feel as if I am too busy for them and I say yes to things that ultimately stress me out. Better now than I used to be but still a work in progress!
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