Perspective is a lot of what I work with, for myself, for clients and even for students.
Perspective can change everything.
An interesting perspective that many people I work with (and some people in my personal life) have is regarding competition. Specifically, that they want to have the most, best, biggest, fastest, fanciest…whatever. They want to achieve, buy and earn the most/best. And when they don’t, they dislike those people who do. They may even try and undercut, downplay, or criticize someone for having what they think they want for themselves (weight, cars, clothes, friends, anything…). And then they either get really frustrated at themselves, give up, or they get really determined to win (or some combination of those).
I read something recently that said the most highly evolved person is one who is happy for everyone else’s success, no matter what. This indicates that you know that if someone else has something you want, it doesn’t mean that there’s not enough for you too!
Hence, the bigger pie analogy. Don’t lust after someone else’s piece of pie, just make a bigger pie so you can have some too.
When you realize that they aren’t taking your piece, the pie automatically gets bigger.
Whenever I get a twinge of jealousy about something, I remind myself of this. As a recovering overachiever, it has helped me a lot to stop comparing my path to other people’s lives.
Also, about the whole grass is greener on the other side of the fence mentality…It might look greener from where you’re standing, but really, the greenness depends on how you care for it… and their grass? It’s just different grass. It has nothing to do with yours.
Sometimes I sense this kind of tension, especially among people who are professionals or enthusiasts trying to make a name for themselves in any given arena. Trying to be exclusive or clique-y or elite—doesn’t do anything for you. People may follow you for a while, and you may boost your esteem a bit (and play on the lack of esteem of your followers). But, especially in the area of wellness and healthy eating, we’re actually all on the same team!
So…anyone wanna collaborate on something? 🙂
We could: Pick a cause and promote it. Make a product and sell it. Think of an idea and share it.
What do you think? Are you for collaborating or do you prefer to work alone (whether it’s in blogging, working, or recreation)?
I used to think I was competitive, but now I know I’m not. I’d rather just make connections with people who jive with me…and still be friendly to those who don’t.
Remember this quote?
”I’ve got what I’ve got, which is a lot. If that warms your cockles, let’s talk. If not, my engine is running, and I trust that your tribe is waiting for you elsewhere.”
i agree wholeheartedly that perspective changes everything. it's so helpful to step back for a moment and consider another side to an equation, think about how a situation affects someone else…
i am very competitive!! in pretty much every aspect of life (eesh!) – running, my job (sales), getting more done in a day…it's something to work on!
i like how you called yourself a recovering overachiever…i'd love to hear more about that journey!
I definitely agree with you about the grass not always being greener! Everything is about perspective! I really enjoy working alone, but I love bouncing ideas off of other people too! 🙂
YES.
I'm a perfectionist, and the person I compete with the most is myself. I'm not competitive with others most of the time — in fact, I try to convince my friends to play games like scrabble w/ me and NOT keep score.
I LOVE that quote, I wrote it down in my blog notebook that I keep. So great!
Lisa, I'd totally collaborate with you! The idea of collaborating with a like minded blogger has been on my mind for a few weeks now, and you were one of the blogs I was thinking of, actually. Send me a message if you want to!
Awesome post! I'm a perfectionist myself, and this is definitely something that I struggle with on a daily basis!
What a great insight. This is why I love your posts! 🙂
Great post. I really always try to be happy for others and their successes. Sometimes I pay too much time cheering on others, I forget about me and to cheer on myself. And no, I'm not thinking I'm some uber evolved person mind you; I do get jealous too.
As for collaboration – all for it with the right “team.”
I definitely agree with cooperation instead of competition. I thought Hollywood would be very cut-throat but since I've been here I've realized that actually, people work together and try and help each other. You help everyone you can and don't worry about paying back/being paid back in the short term, and just hope you can help each other in the long run. NOBODY can make it by themselves in this business.
Your comment made me think—I should probably edit the post to mention that
I don't think it's the actual competitiveness that is bad, but it's when the
feelings behind it are out of whack! I definitely use competition to get
motivated in a lot of ways…
totally agree perspective is everything! and omgggg i'm excited to see the entire socca process!
photograph it all? im super visual and totally want to make it from scratchy scratch!
mwah!
xoXOxo
Jenn @ Peas & Crayons
I think I have a little bit of this competition thing… I feel sooo bad when I'm running at the park and someone just passes me! I pick up my pace just so I can pass the person again lol. But now serious, I do have a little of the competition thing on me… but I try to use it in a positive way, as a way to motivate me… 🙂 But I actually don't envy people who have what I don't… instead I admire them and use them as inspiration.. 🙂
Well, I think I might say that I much rather work alone… since I was a kid, I used to do everybody else's part in the group work and put their names on it just so I could get to do it alone lol.
xx
Wonderful words of inspiration as I get ready to close the work-week…thanks for making me reflect, breathe, and RELAX a little bit!
Hope you have a great weekend 🙂
I love your mentality. This life has abundance to offer anyone who has the positive outlook and motivation to grab it. I am all about collaborating with like-minded driven folks! 🙂
I love alone projects AND collaborations. I tend to be seriously competitive with MYSELF sometimes but my overall attitude is to each his own and love all. Of course there are people that you make stronger connections with and that you can devote more of you time to…but I try to spread as much love as possible. 🙂
I agree! Just make the pie a little bit bigger:) Is that wheatgrass?! I am going to buy tonssss of that stuff once I get my juicer!
Also I have been so curious about using my sprouted chickpeas for hummus, but I wasn't sure if the texture would turn out funky!
See you tonight girl!:)
Great post, and I love the idea of making the pie bigger. I also love how you describe yourself as a recovering over-achiever. I'm trying to get out of that mode, myself. I don't know if it's so much that I am competitive and always want to win. I think I set too-high expectations for myself, just because I want to do my best. That could be a good thing, but I tend to work myself TOO hard (till I drop in exhaustion!). Thanks for the inspiration to start my day.
It is wheatgrass. I grew loads of it last year…it's easy and reeeeeally
cheap…
The texture and taste of the hummus is a little different than normal, but
it's still good!
See ya later 🙂
I'm definitely a people person and I love working in a social environment. However, personal acheivement means a lot to me. I work well and enjoy working with others but at the end of the day am focused on my own success :).
– Beth @ http://www.DiningAndDishing.com
“I’d rather just make connections with people who jive with me…and still be friendly to those who don’t.”
I agree! :]
Any time baby Any time…… 🙂 I have found that my running group makes me collaborative….. so thanks for the next blog idea, see colaboration happens in many ways!!!
Oh, I like this! So true. Life is abundant, and I don't mind grabbing some up!!!
What an absolutely amazing post! I would collaborate on anything with you anytime girl! Your posts always inspire me to be a better person and motivate me to reach for my dreams!
I'm not a terribly competitive person…but I do sometimes have issues with jealousy and envy. It's something I'm working on!
Was your question rhetorical, or are you really looking for collaborators? 'Cause I'll join your club! I play well with others!
I know! It was SOOO not funny! I almost had a heart attack!! Thank God it wasn't anything! ):
Isn't it so funny how we get to talk to our brains like it's some outside extension of our own beings instead of part of it? I pretty often forget that I'm the one in control of it and let it totally run my mood d:
Have an awesome weekend! 🙂
xx
What an inspiring post- I'd like to have life be this way, where instead of jealousy and resentment, we all just worked together (or on our own) for what we want.
Cheers to that!
LOVE this!! perspective IS everything. i really do believe if we thought more about other people and concentrated less on ourselves, we would be happier. and you're right, someone else's grass is just different grass, it doesn't take away from yours. thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Not rhetorical! So thinking of something to collaborate on is next 🙂
Ok, let's collaborate….on …..something!
I love the idea of “making a bigger pie” though my first reaction probably would have been to say “make your own pie”… admittedly, teamwork is a concept I still work at every day.
On another note, your sprouted chickpeas are so intriguing!
mmm sprouted chickpea hummus sounds amazing! do you have a recipe for such a lovely concoction?!
I didn't like dark chocolate a few years ago at all! lol Now, when I have the chance to actually buy some chocolate, I always get the dark one, despite of all my love for the white one… somehow I've conditioned my brain to believe that, if it's healthier, it tastes better lolol
So true Lisa! Really liked this post. I wish everyone could read it. I am definitely far far far from perfect and I do get selfish often, but I also try to step outside of situations at times and recognize how truly happy I am for people and their successes. I thank my mom for (at least trying to) teach me this. We all get our time to shine, our special moments, and special things. I liked what you had to say! And that hummus looks delish!
i wish I wasn't so competitive. Sometimes, I'm even tough on myself always trying to be better. If I could find a way to be less competitive, I'd be less perfectionisic. I'd really like that!
Hi Laura! Thanks—I think it's such a process, and having awareness and the
idea for improving is already being on the track to progress…
So, really, you're already way ahead of the status quo 🙂
Have a great day!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
This was a great post, with such an amazing message. Just because someone else's grass is greener, doesn't mean mine can't be even greener, or just as green 🙂 I like to use my competitiveness to my advantage. IT pushes me to work harder and be a better person, everyday.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
This was a great post, with such an amazing message. Just because someone else's grass is greener, doesn't mean mine can't be even greener, or just as green 🙂 I like to use my competitiveness to my advantage. IT pushes me to work harder and be a better person, everyday.
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