First, if you haven’t read this poem yet, you should go do so! Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters (it’s only a tiny short poem, and will open in a new window when you click on it—are you convinced to click yet?!).
If you haven’t entered the $25 gift certificate giveaway, go do so here.
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My mom had a dream the other night that she was me, and it was partly about me getting a suggestion about where is the best place to live in the country. The location, weather, amenities, opportunities, and more were absolutely perfect, but there was just one issue. There was a pot hole on 6th Avenue that would always be really annoying, and could not be fixed. This became a dilemma and a focus in the dream/decision.
As we chatted about this today, we talked about how we’re trained to always focus on the icky things in life that we don’t like…as we are simultaneously (at least verbally) told to look at the bright side of things. It’s so contradictory, but I’m beginning to pull out some interesting threads from this.
I have a messed up knee.
So I do more yoga, more spinning, more elliptical, more walking, but… less running.
My nephew was here this weekend, and we had a great time playing games, playing in the snow, going to dinner and a movie, but…he still made sure to say several times, “I hate school.”
Apply this idea to whatever nags at you—a couple extra pounds, gray hair, short legs, bad weather, a missed workout goal, an old clunky car, a student loan….you get the idea!
I talk to lots and lots of clients and students each week (I think I have 140 students right now!), and it’s a pattern that surfaces all the time:
I love my job, but…
I did eat more vegetables this week, but…
I am excited to go on vacation, but…
I look forward to spinning class, but…
I have great hair, but…
Many times the first part of the statement isn’t even there. People just focus what comes after the “but…”
What if I stopped focusing on what I don’t have, what I didn’t do, how tired I feel, what my to do list is, and just looked at all the awesomeness?!
I ate 3 salads, had 3 green smoothies, went to the gym twice, and went in my sauna once this weekend.
But…I also had a really junky piece of cake even though I’m trying to cut down on sugar, ate more than I wanted for dinner last night, spilled soy sauce on a white shirt, didn’t get any work done because Matthew was here overnight, missed yoga class, meant to clean my car but didn’t, and didn’t go to the grocery store or buy paper for my printer.
If I focus on the “but…” part of this, I feel pretty badly and blah. Doing that is just not productive, and only makes me feel like I don’t want to pep up and take tomorrow by storm 🙂
I think I’m a pretty darn positive person, but I can still pinpoint some ways in which I focus on the muck of life. This week, my goal is to stop myself whenever I’m doing that. I think part of the requirement for that will be to stay in the moment, and there may be some self talk and deep breathing involved. I can handle that!
What do you have going on this week? Anything that will pull you into the muck of life? If you weren’t going to focus on the mucky stuff, what would you focus on?
Here’s my Excitement List for this week:
Thursday night, my friend Petra and I are doing an Ultimate Smoothie Workshop and we have 40 people signed up. This is pretty exciting, and I know it will be a lot of fun.
I am excited that last week was midterm week in one of my classes, so I have fewer labs to grade this week (and the midterm is scored automatically).
I now work at the college where my mom works, so I get to see her on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday…which is awesome even though it’s only for a few minutes.
I finally tried the Dandy Blend “coffee” and it is so fabulous. I can totally see that becoming part of my daily routine (I like hot drinks in the morning!).
I bought a Clarisonic skin cleansing thingy that I’ve been using since Thursday…and it’s totally awesome!
I get to work from home all day on Tuesday 🙂
There’s more…but I think I’ll keep the rest replaying in my head. I already put myself in a good motivated mood to begin the week, just from this small list.
I hope you have an awesome week too!
Changing my outlook does wonders for me. I'm a pretty optimistic person, and sometimes, I do focus on the “buts,” but focusing on the positives makes me so much happier.
I totally need to keep the “but…” out of my statements! I've noticed I do that an awful lot, especially when someone compliments me.. I feel like I have to make it seem like less of a big deal by kind of knocking it down a little.. awful right? One of my super major goals is to stop doing this! =)
I ate guac for lunch and squash fries for dinner. No but… here! I'm totally ok with this! <3
YES. I really, truly needed to read this right now. I've been talking only in “but…s” lately, but I need to find the good in every day. Even if I can just find one thing (usually I focus on my husband when I need to find something positive to focus on) I need to let that guide me through the week, and not the negative things that are happening right now. Many people believe that “like attracts like” so if I”m only focusing on the negative, that's all I'll get.
I am alive. I am taking deep breaths. No buts about it.
I love smoothies. Hardcore. 🙂
I also need to focus more on the positive. I'm trying, but it is a daily struggle.
i love this post, lisa!
first, so glad you had fun with your nephew. yahtzee is one of my family's all-time favourite games, too! your nephew will always remember the time and fun activities you do with him.
very fun that you will see your mom during the week – even quick visits are so cool!
one of my favourite dr phil (yes, i'm a fan!) episodes featured the “but” statement. i forget what dr phil said, exactly, BUT he proposed that we rid our vocab of that word. so true. i like your philosophy, too.
have a great week – i'm going to focus on all the things i GET to do this week, too!
Such a great post! You're totally right, it's so easy to get focused on the “muck” and not enjoy and appreciate the good stuff. I'm definitely going to try to do that as well this week. And the picture of the smoothie in a bowl looks delicious!!
smoothie workshop? Thats awesome! I wish I could have shared a smoothie bowl with you. I am looking forward to a positive week.
Cheers,
LC
think about how awesome if everyone focused on the positive. We all need to be more present in what we think and say. Also yay for smoothie workshops! I can't start my day without a green smoothie 🙂
This is a great post! I caught myself doing the “but” thing last week since it was a rough week. It seemed like everything had a “but” attached to it. This week I am focusing on the positive and it is already starting off on a positive note! Now I just hope I am not snowed in for most of it, I've got work to do!
You are so right! Those “buts” can really keep us from loving life and loving ourselves and just being proud of the many accomplishments we are all capable of. We must stop selling ourselves short!!
That smoothie in a bowl looks amazing. I can almost taste it through the photo!
I LOVE that poem!!
and smoothie workshop? I'm jealous… I wish I could join you!!
How about…
“I would have a great butt, but….”
My 11 year old went to Yogi 3D with my niece while the rest of my fam went to see The kings Speech. I am sure I will see it at home 20 times!! But, alas, with no 3D
Gosh, I love reading your posts because you always have such a fresh positive outlook. You're so right that we focus on what comes after the but… rather then the fab things that come before it! My goal is start focusing on the before!! 🙂
P.S. Yogi Bear was a really cute movie!! Did you like it?
Your soup photo prompted me to take a container of soup out of my freezer and put it in my fridge for tomorrow… but I think I'll be playing around with some other kinds of soups this week, too! When (and where?) on Thurs are you and Petra doing the smoothie thing? (Can I sign up?!) Every time you post that pic of the smoothie in the bowl I'm reminded that I need to learn what's in it, and since I'm soon replacing my blender I'll be back on the daily smoothie bandwagon. 🙂 Therefore, a trip up to Roch and maybe to Lori's would make for an awesome Thursday for me!
i so wish i could attend your smoothie workshop! that sounds awesome! and that soup looks super yummy! hope you have a wonderful week lovely!
I do the whole but..thing too. Definitely need to nix that! Thanks for such great motivation. This is going to be a rocky week for me (work, snow storm supposedly, etc.) and I love motivational posts! 🙂
I love your positivity! I completely agree, I sometimes get caught up in all the “buts” when I really just need to focus on what comes before. There's no need to worry about the little things 🙂
Yogi was pretty cute—my nephew thought it was hilarious (especially when
yogi was dragging the picnic tables). He talked about it for the entire next
day!
Great positivity!!
My positivity list:
This week I only have one test, which is a plus!
I get to exercise twice.
I'm going to a different church on Thursday! =D
Great list! A great combo of stuff—hope you have a fab week 🙂
Yep—and it takes practice to un-notice the “buts”…but it feels worth it!
Happy Monday 🙂
Good luck with your rocky week!
Hope your week is fab too:) I think I'm going to post that soup recipe—it
was the best one this week, and we're making it again tomorrow!
Sold Out. Sorry 🙂
But, you don't need a smoothie class, we can just play smoothies someday
when we get together (whenever that is)! Or we could do a smoothie class at
the bar…. 🙂
Yogi was…….very yogi-predictable. Matthew loved it, so I'm sure we'll
watch it a billion more times too… 🙂
I totally should have found a way to fit in the “great butt” statement in
that post!
I wish you could join us too 🙂
I should do a virtual smoothie workshop….but I guess the samples wouldn't
be as effective that way!
…I love that poem too…it's a great reminder.
It's ridiculously good! I should post the recipe on that one…
I agree—it takes practice, but it's such worthwhile practice!
I hope you're not snowed in! It's crazy how much a little positive thinking
can help—I'm practicing right now 🙂
Mmmmm…green smoothies are my favorite! I swear they're ten times better
than coffee could be 🙂
Cheers to a positive week!
Smoothie workshop is always fun…people love the samples 🙂
I think that smoothie is in my top 5 faves…I'll definitely have to post
the recipe!
Hope you have a great positive week 🙂
Now that you say that…I remember seeing Dr. Phil talking about that a
couple months ago when he had some crying lady on his show 🙂 It's very
powerful, and a tough habit to kick!
Yahtzee is great—I love the games with numbers and a little bit of
strategy. Sometimes when I'm playing with trucks or pretending we're fishing
for hours…I have to remind myself that my nephew will remember this kind
of stuff later!
Have a great day 🙂
Focusing on the positive is such a process…practicing is the only way to
go (in my opinion)! All I can say is that it's worth it in the long run 🙂
I agree—-like attracts like! I'm all about getting the positivity wherever
I can so it can spill over into other stuff 🙂
Hope you have a fab week!
The topic of accepting compliments is a great one! There are very few people
who accept them easily, but I think it's def worth working on 🙂
Such a great post. I know I tend to focus on the “but…” way too often. I guess I just never feel like I've done all that I could during a day or week. I try to remember what I did indeed do, then add in the but….
On my Excitement List for the week is getting to go to the Smoothie Class on Thursday! (That is if the weather cooperates.)
I hope the weather cooperates!!! I didn't know you were coming—this is
great 🙂
I feel that way often too…it's crazy, I thought I was focusing on the
positive, but adding the “but…” sorta cancels the positive feeling out or
at least dulls it!
You are so awesome! We think so much alike its scary. Matthew seems like a terrific kiddo! That poem got saved. Just sayin. I have been trying like a mad woman to stay away from streets with pot holes and to keep the “buts” out of my life. I would LOVE to attend an ultimate smoothie session. Sounds like a blast!
I have so much to look forward to this week! My new photography class begins on Tuesday, my best friend and her new baby arrive on Wednesday and on Thursday the three of us drive back to our hometown for a visit. You're right, it's always better to focus on the positive :).
– Beth @ http://www.DiningAndDishing.com
Focusing on the buts is so exhausting- we need to just forget them sometimes:)
How was yogi bear?
Great post doll!!! I rarely use the word but since I have changed my thought patterns 😉 It makes such a difference when you are in constant thoughts of abundance, don't you?
Great reminder love!
xxoo
So true, I tend to get stuck in ruts or focusing on muck when it's important to focus on the good stuff. This weeks muck would be being on call for work while the good stuff is great eats, nice weather and opportunities for exercise.
I seriously love and admire your attitude SO much! You are amazingly inspirational!! 😀
Thanks for the wake up call. I find myself using “but” too often. I'm strong & healthy, BUT I have a bloated Buddha belly…blah blah. Always picking on myself. Why can't we women appreciate ourselves without adding a little sideways put down? I think men do it much less. I'm gonna work on this. Thanks for giving me some free therapy 🙂
Gosh, I don't know why we do it–I am the same way–caught myself focusing
on the blechy stuff this morning. I'm working on it too— and that's
progress in itself 🙂
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